Saturday, December 19, 2009

Moving On

It's been a while since I've been ready to write but I know that for me getting back to writing is part of healing. I reach out with my writing, putting my thoughts and feelings out there to be shared. That's necessary because it's normal to feel a hit to your self esteem when your life makes unpleasant changes regardless of how necessary they were.

I decided today that it's time to evaluate a lot of things. My self, my dreams and my reality. I'm looking first at me and what I need to change. First off I need to get back to quality training and healthy eating. Both have suffered this year, I've done more fried food this year than the last 8 years combined. I wasn't sleeping well and that has fortunately changed. I sleep good now as well as take a nap after my workouts whenever possible, (now doesn't that make me sound old). These are my easy changes to make, I have absolute control over them. My cravings will get in the way but if I'm serious about moving on they will be tolerable.

My dreams are such that I can still realize them, it will just be with a different companion. Of course the search for another will be a top priority for the next months. I'm looking for a new relationship with as little baggage as possible. I suppose there are people out there without a ton of baggage they are lugging around. I'm not looking for Barbie or anyone close, just a good solid lady to share my life and dreams.

My dreams are to buy another small house next year and live there till I can retire in 8 years and then spend a few years traveling looking to see if there is anywhere I/we would rather be. Then moving there if that paradise does exist.

Current reality is that I really can't complain about anything. I have a good job and hopefully the economy won't cause the company to close smaller stores like the one I work at. This day and age one never knows. I'm alone but only as far as a live in companion, since I have several amazing friends that watch out for me. I also have a wonderful son that is keeping tabs on me.

So all in all I have to say the future is bright. I will be glad to fast forward a year and see where life has taken me.

Thanks for reading.

Rambling Panda

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