Sunday, August 2, 2009


When I retired from the Air Force I accepted a position as the general manager of the largest dating service in the country, Perfect Match. I got the position because they wanted someone with a degree in psychology and counselling Basically what the company did, this was pre Internet, was to match people based on questionnaires they filled out when they joined. They paid as much as $3500 to join, in hopes of finding a person to love them. I had clients from all walks of life, from a female judge, to a male news caster, to strippers, to medical personnel.

I gained a lot of insight about people from that job. Both from the way they viewed them selves and how they viewed each other. I had some long talks with several of the clients to help me accomplish what they had paid to much money for. I learned that looks were higher on the man's shopping list than on women's list of wants. Women were more often looking for a manly man with a kind heart when a man wanted pleasing looks. Yep, guys are guilty as charged there. But an amazing thing happened, if I matched a woman with extra fluff and a great personality with a guy, I got better feed back from the guy than if I matched him up with a little hard body that was not interesting to talk to.

One of the things that both men and women had in common was a desire to be respected. Nearly everyone I talked to was concerned that their dream date would respect them and accept them as they were. I heard that word, respect, a lot when I was having my long talks with clients. A guy who treated his date like a lady got lots of points from the woman. The gal that acted genuinely interested in her date piled up the points as well.

Even though we talk about being modern and high tech and with it and all that, the dream date for both men and women is the old fashioned kind. The girls want to be treated like a princess, opening doors, helping her on with her coat and pulling out her chair for her will make up for a being a little slack in the good looks department. A lady with a personality will beat out the Barbie every time.

When I talked to clients that had been married or in previous relationships I discovered that lack of respect by their partner was a big part of the breakup. So my take on it, respect is a non negotiable factor of a successful relationship, whether it's a friendship or a marriage. I'm willing to bet that an attitude of respect will help with every interaction we have with other people.

Thanks for reading.

Rambling Panda

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